Friends

Exactly one score and zero years ago (for those without beards and tall hats that is 20 years!) was one of the best and most memorable days of my life. Exactly 20 years ago, I married the most beautiful and most talented woman in the entire world. With the voice of an angel, the beauty of a goddess, the determination of a pioneer, all the fun of Bob Hope, the Ringling Brothers, and Walt Disney all wrapped into one, and a heart as big as Texas, my best friend agreed to become an inseparable part of me. Heather Jo Weber became Heather Jo Wheeler, and the journey of a lifetime began.

The first night I met Heather, her roommate and a high school friend of mine, introduced her to me and another high school chum, and we had a ball – or rather a Frisbee – of a time. Not only was she so beautiful, but she was full of life and vigor. As we got to know each other better, I found that I could sit and listen to her sing for hours on end (thus why I spent the better part of my college free time in the music department). She had an ear and an eye for beauty (what can I say?), looking beyond who a person was with a vision of what they could become. She could compose songs as well as sculpt snow angels. She was so outgoing, a trait I sorely lacked. She has never met a stranger and when we would venture around campus, it would take us forever to get anywhere because she knew absolutely everyone. She had a knack for leaving people better than she found them.

But more than her outward beauty and talent, I could see a heart and a love for God that overwhelmed me and drew me closer. An uncompromising and unwavering commitment to her Creator and Savior; a shining example of faith and purity.

To say that July 27, 1985, was one of the best days of my life is a bit misleading because each day with Heather gets better than the one before and I grow to love her more and more each day. Thanks for being my friend forever.

Happy Anniversary!

Father Knows Best

How many of you remember the old television show, “Father Knows Best”? I remember seeing some of the re-runs when I was a kid. (NO I am not old enough to have seen it first hand – it aired in the 50’s for crying out loud!) I always thought highly of the show, although I never felt it depicted “real life” – at least not MY life. My dad was pretty smart in some areas, but I would have never depicted him with the attribute of always “knowing best”. Especially in my teen-age years, I often thought I knew what was best, and that dad was just out of touch with the times. Looking back, I am glad that dad taught us to respect those who were older and more experienced than us, especially now that I see some of this generation who do not respect anyone, let alone those who are wiser and have some authority. Many call this the rebellious stage, but I think that it is more a state of selfishness.

Too often, I run across folks who have this same relationship with God. They act like God, and his Holy Bible, are “out of touch” with society today. Too many “rules”. He just doesn’t understand that some things that He condemned in the Bible are OK now because people are much more tolerant and accepting these days. After all, if so many thousands, or millions, of people don’t see a problem, then it must be OK. This is nothing more than rationalization of sinful deeds and selfishness. In essence, they think they know more than God!

God told Isaiah, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,...As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9. Job had a similar short sightedness. After enduring all his troubles, and after rebuking his so-called friends, Job 32:1 tells us that “he was righteous in his own eyes.” God had just told Satan in chapters 1 and 2 that “there is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil,” yet, in chapters 38 – 41, God had to remind Job who was in control. I challenge everyone to read these chapters and meditate on the awesome power of our Father, the Creator of everything.

Father, I pray that I will always trust You completely and that my attitude will be the same as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who proudly proclaimed, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3: 16-18)

Lane's Birthday

Milestone: “An important event, as in a person's career, the history of a nation, or the advancement of knowledge in a field; a turning point.” The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.

We reach many milestones in our lives, the most common of which are birthdays. Many fear birthdays…foreseeing themselves as another step closer to becoming feeble or useless or irrelevant. Others look forward to birthdays as a step closer to adulthood, independence, emancipation and self-reliance. Still others eagerly anticipate the presents.

Today is my son’s birthday. Lane Carlson Wheeler turns 11 today. He has awaited this day with enthusiasm. Several reminders of parties and presents have been spoken in the last couple of weeks. He has checked the mail every day for birthday cards. Today he catches most of his classmates and friends in age, although he has caught them in stature several years ago. Most of all, although he doesn’t realize it, he seeks validation each year around his birthday. It is a wondrous milestone in his life.

I, on the other hand, am ambivalent. Each year, I revel in my son’s youth. I love to watch his excitement and enthusiasm. I marvel at how his mind works: visualizing how his special day will unfold, testing the limits of his age by proudly proclaiming that he is now old enough to do certain things formerly forbidden, and keenly and logically examining and cross-examining family members, with the zeal of a skilled attorney, to uncover the nature and location of his presents. I watch each year as Lane grows in wisdom and stature and discernment. Yet, as I watch him grow and develop, I do not relish or look forward to the day when he will leave - a day which will come all too soon.

Lane is highly intelligent, and persuasive, and as the years pass, I see that I will soon be seeking his advice. Each year, I find that his counsel and logic are more and more worthy of consideration. As all 11 year olds do, he sometimes focuses intensely on things he wants, (as do many of us 42 year olds as well), but he is ALWAYS prepared to offer himself to others – instantly, wholeheartedly, and unconditionally.

Most of all, I am more and more proud of Lane each year for his increased love for God and his spiritual growth. Lane truly has the heart of a servant! Whether it is holding the door for an elderly person, holding the umbrella for others as they pass from their cars to the building, or offering to fix whatever is broken, Lane is ready and willing to serve. On days when he has to go to work with me (which he loves to do) I often find him helping the file clerks. Lane is the very definition of encouragement, always cheering on his teammates, always assisting the handicapped, and offering hugs to everyone, especially those who are sad or burdened. He empathizes with those who hurt and rejoices with others in their triumphs.

I see that Lane is quickly becoming a great man of God and will one day be a potent force in God’s kingdom. Thank you Lane for showing me how to love, how to be accepting of others, and how to be a servant!

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

Aim High

It has been years since I took Drivers’ Ed classes, but since Lavon has started driving, I have tried to remember some of the pearls of wisdom I learned some 26 years ago. I remember some of the lame films we watched that were supposed to sharpen our senses when on the road. I also remember turning the corner one day to see the other Drivers’ Ed car in the middle of the intersection - on fire! (No fault of the student). I remember how uncomfortable “10 and 2” is and how I've always preferred “11 and 1”…although I now mostly prefer to drive with one hand. We learned some anagram that was supposed to help us remember about 5 safety tips, but all that really stuck with me was the phrase “aim high in steering”. The point they were trying to make was that you can’t see what’s ahead if you don’t look ahead. This also helps to stay in one lane without weaving because you don't have to make as many corrections in steering.

I have found this to be good advice in many areas of life. When mowing my lawn, I like to mow at different angles so that the grass doesn’t lay down one way, like the nap on a carpet. I think that it also makes that yard look nicer (and my yard needs all the help it can get) to see the straight lines and patterns. However, when going from one side to the other, or diagonally from one corner to the other, it can be very difficult to mow in a straight line. When I look at the line from my last pass, and try to keep one wheel just outside that line, I find that my path tends to curve or weave. It looks like a blind man tried to mow my grass. This is where Drivers’ Ed comes in handy. If I can focus on a reference point at the far end of the yard, I tend to mow in a much straighter line.

The same is true in our every day Christian walks. Often we try to look at the road right in front of our feet to avoid all the pitfalls and potholes that clutter our way. When we do this we weave back and forth, like a ship tossed by the waves. James tells us that this is cause by doubt. James 1:6. We get so worried about the immediate, that we don’t see what’s coming off in the distance. We tend to change our focus from one pothole or obstacle to the next and forget about our destination. It happens to the best of us. Just look at Peter in Matthew 14. When he stepped out of that boat he was driven by one thought, “I must reach Jesus”; but then Satan slapped him with a wave or two and he began to be distracted again by the immediate threat of the storm and not on the safe and secure harbor of the arms of his Savior – all because of doubts.

Take some time to refocus. God has promised that he would NEVER leave us nor forsake us. Hebrews 13:5. The Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3. If we want to stay on the straight and narrow road that leads to life (Matthew 7:14), we need to focus on the finish line.

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:2

Dehydration

I took an extra day off after vacation because I knew I would have to mow the lawn after a week and a half. We have a fairly good-sized yard due to being situated on the corner of a cul-de-sac and it takes about 2 hours just to mow, without the trimming. It was the perfect day as the rest of the family went to Worlds of Fun with the youth group. I got to be pretty hot that morning, and the humidity was very high, which made me sweat profusely. I knew that I needed to drink lots of water to avoid becoming dehydrated. Seems funny that someone can become so water-deficient when there is so much moisture in the air. I took several breaks that day to drink water to quench my thirst and replenish the fluids my body needed to stay strong and healthy.

How often is our spiritual life dehydrated? We attend church or bible studies 2 or 3 or more times per week, we attend fellowship dinners, meet together for movies or games or other entertainment, we have 1 or more Christian radio stations in our towns, we email or instant message or call our brothers often; yet, our spiritual lives remain arid and parched. We wonder why we don’t get anything out of worship or class. We put on masks when we see our brothers or sisters so that they won’t know how we hurt or struggle. We battle with our sinful nature and try to fight off depression and unhappiness. We camouflage the hole in our souls instead of filling up the emptiness.

I urge you to drink deeply from the living water offered only by our Lord and Savior. John 4:10. Stuff yourself with the Bread of Life (John 6); bask in the Light of the world (John 9); pass freely through the Gate (John 10:9) and feel secure in the protection of the Good Shepherd (John 10:11, 14); diligently seek to follow the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6); cling firmly to the True Vine and abide in the nourishment He gives so that you can produce much sweet fruit (John 15:1-8); and glory and rejoice in the Resurrection (John 11:25) so that your emptiness may be filled with abundant Life! (John 10:10).

There's No Place Like Home

After Hershey, PA, we headed home. We drove through Richmond, IN, about 3:30 in the morning (sorry Mike for not knocking on your door), and after a brief stop at the Indianapolis Speedway, we drove straight through to Topeka, arriving at about 6:45 p.m. The kids were real troopers, and we watched 11 straight episodes of Joan of Arcadia (again, I recommend that you buy the DVDs for your personal collection). I am so thankful that I have kids who are interested enough in improving their spiritual well-being that they are willing to watch such shows to gain spiritual nuggets of wisdom.

By the time we arrived home, I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz (not that we didn’t hear enough of those references while traveling). “There’s no place like home!” There is just something about the familiar surroundings – sleeping in my own bed, sitting on my own couch, being able to grab a soda from my own refrigerator – almost makes you never want to leave. The trip was great, but by the end of the week, I was feeling a bit homesick. We didn’t care if we saw any other sites; we were all ready to be HOME!

We need to remember that we are merely strangers, aliens, in this world. Hebrews 11:13; 1 Peter 2:11. As the song says, “I’m just a passing through”. Jesus has a place prepared for us and is just waiting for the day when He can come back to take us home. John 14:2-3.

I can’t wait to get home!

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

(Mercy Me, “Homesick”)

The Sweetest Place on Earth

Saturday, we began the long journey home. After a couple of hours driving, we stopped in Hershey, Pennsylvania, home of the Hershey chocolate company, where the streets are lined with Kisses shaped street lamps, and you enter and exit down Chocolate Drive. We knew we didn’t have time for all the attractions – the theme park, 3-D movie, trolley ride, or zoo – but we took the tour to learn how the candy was made…from bean to distribution. I had already read that Mr. Hershey built the town around the factory, to accommodate his factory workers. The Hershey Company has done so well over the years, not just because of how good the product is, but because of how well the company treats it’s employees. The tour was fascinating, informative, and interesting. What stood out in my mind was that the cocoa beans that are grown and gathered from different countries, like Uganda and Indonesia, each have a unique flavor. Hershey combines these beans in just the right amounts (along with milk and sugar) to create the world famous Hershey taste. The ingredients are then dried, roasted, beaten, crushed, milled, flattened, rolled, heated, stirred, and put through other sundry processes to produce the finished product that we have come to know and love.

Ever feel like a cocoa bean? Have you been through the mill, fire, pressure and ringer? Sometimes we feel like God has stripped us of all our strengths and uniqueness until there is none of US left. God has promised that He will not allow us to endure more than we can bear, and that He is always there to provide an escape. 1 Corinthians 10:13. So when you face struggles, trials, temptations, and you feel like you are being crushed and burned by the burdens you face, just sit back and let God mix the ingredients of your character and take control of the processessing so that HIS finished product can be as sweet and sumptuous as Hershey’s chocolate.

The Best Day Yet!

Friday we awoke and headed for Cooperstown, New York. Of all our destinations, this is the one I looked forward to all week long. You see, Cooperstown is the home to the Baseball Hall of Fame, the historic tribute to the greatest game on earth and as much a part of American History as any historic person or event in America. Heather figured we would spend a couple of hours and head out, but I knew better! Cooperstown is a quaint little town in upstate New York with cute little homes and with every shop centered around baseball memorabilia and souvenirs. The Hall was AWESOME…with exhibits dedicated to the most prestigious players and moments in all of baseball history, from Abner Doubleday (given credit for inventing baseball) to The Babe (no additional info necessary), to Jackie Robinson (who was the first black player in the major leagues) to Charlie Hustle (Pete Rose), Nolan Ryan (who holds more records than any pitcher in history), to Curt Schilling’s bloody sock from last years World Series run. There were World Series pins, programs and rings from each World Series. There was an exhibit for baseball art and baseball movies and a separate exhibit dedicated to the stadium. And finally, the Hall itself, with plaques for each member elected since the initial class in 1936. Behind the Hall a bit was Doubleday Field, host to the annual Hall of Fame game, and where you could watch a baseball game every day of every summer for free. On the way out of town, there is a complex which hosts an 80-team tournament each weekend, so that all children of America can realize the dream of playing in the town where baseball was invented.

Wow! After rushing through the 3-story hall in 4 hours or so, we began our journey home, with only one more stop planned in Hershey, Pennsylvania. As we came closer to Binghamton, New York, I reminded my family that my Father was born in Binghamton and my Mother was born in Syracuse just up the road. I knew that my uncle Sid lived on the old home place for years and we wondered if maybe he still did. After a conversation with my sister, we called my uncle, who I have met only once, at Dad’s funeral, and found that he happened to be home. We made arrangements to stop by for a family “get to know you” visit. Sid and Carol are selling the home place to their son, Tom, and his wife and 2 girls, and they live with Tom in the summer, spending their winters in Florida. We visited for hours, reminiscing about Mom and Dad, grandpa and grandma, and our families until we knew we had to leave, at about 12:30 am. Everyone was delighted that we made the impromptu stop. It was great to know that I have family clear across the country and that I am welcomed at any time. What a fantastic surprise and a wonderful end to a fabulous day!

Throughout my life, I have found that I have Christian family all around the globe. Everywhere we go, we meet Christians who treat us like life long friends. From Hawaii, to Florida, to California, to South Dakota and Canada. On Day 2 of our trip, we stopped at the Midwest Church of Christ in Louisville, KY, an all black congregation, and were treated with the friendliness and hospitality of close relatives. It is good to know that we are all connected by the same family tree, with God as the head.

As you travel from state to state, town to town, or house to house, I encourage you to stop by your brother and/or sister’s place for an impromptu visit. You might find out some things about them you didn’t know. You might learn of struggles they keep hidden or ways you can help that you would have never imagined. If nothing else, you may just be encouraged by their love and warmth.

Make every day a family reunion. And don’t forget to invite your Brother, Jesus, to come along.

Peace amidst Chaos

Thursday we spent a full day in New York City. We took the George Washington Bridge on the north side of Manhattan so as to avoid the Holland Tunnel. It took a considerable amount more time, but at least when we crossed over, we were in Brooklyn; close to the “House that Ruth Built”. We drove around Yankee Stadium. The ballpark is nothing special, it is the heritage of all the world class ball players that have graced the field that brings a sense of awe to the stadium and the surrounding neighborhood.

We were warned long before we left Topeka to park outside the city and walk or take the subway to wherever we needed to go. We could have easily taken their advice, but we would have missed out on so much fun! By driving around the city (in our minivan with a cargo carrier on top, no less) we were able to get a great view of the entire city. We almost never got out to walk around, which would have also been an amazing experience, but we were able to see so much more of the city from the comfort of our air conditioned quarters. We traveled from one end of the island to the other and back. Past and through Central Park, by the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Metropolitan Opera, past the Juliard School of Music, down to Little Italy and China Town (where the girls did get out to shop while we boys circled the blocks as best we could) and finally to the site of the former World Trade Centers, the tragic site of 9/11/01. We then drove up and down and around the Broadway and 42nd Street area. Heather and Lavon got to see part of a show and the other kids and I found a parking place and merrily headed for the 3 story Toys R Us.

But the most fun I had in NYC was driving. You’ve heard that the drivers there are crazy and especially the cabbies. You don’t know the half of it until you have experienced it for yourself. Beginning with the Holland Tunnel, where 8 lanes of traffic magically merge into 2, all vehicles on the road are suddenly in a stiff competition to see how many cars they can cut off and how many pedestrians they can weave in and out of without doing any major damage. And the busses own the road, or at least they drive like they do. At any time, if a car wants in front of you, they will inch (or rocket) the nose of their vehicle in front of yours so that you can’t proceed without running into them. Busses are no exception. If they want in your lane, they simply pull over and expect you to stop. The cabs will even pull around you while you are waiting for pedestrians to clear so that you can turn, and then they turn in front of you! And as best I could tell, “no parking” and “no standing” doesn’t apply to New Yorkers. It was the best game I have played in a very long time, and it was amazing to watch the other vehicles around me.

I will advise folks to stay clear of our car for a while after we get back, until the newly formed habit subsides.

Yet, amidst the chaos – the thousands of cars and people, the one way streets, the homeless and beggars, the street vendors, the lights and video boards, and the hundreds of other tourists who didn’t have a clue – I felt a peace, knowing I was in no hurry and nothing depended on whether I got into the next lane now or three blocks from now. I was content with not having to be in control.

I feel that peace each and every day knowing that my Savior is in control of my life so that I no longer have to be. Knowing that He guides my path, that He guards my life, that He protects me, is the greatest feeling in the world. I pray that, someday, everyone will feel that peace.

Liberty

Wednesday we entered Philadelphia for a quick trip back to 1776, and the birth of our nation. We got a close up look at the Liberty Bell and how it became the symbol of freedom across the United States. We were not able to tour Liberty Hall, but we did get to see the original house of Congress, where the first congress met, and where the first and second presidents were confirmed, and the original City Hall, which housed the original Supreme Court a couple of times each year. We also visited the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, memorializing the sacrifices of countless soldiers of the American Revolution who died for the cause of freedom. After a while in Philly, we headed for New York to get a glimpse of Lady Liberty (the Statue of Liberty, affectionately known as the “green girl” by one member of my family). There was some ceremony at the tomb, with 3 Marines standing close by in full dress uniforms and a news crew there to document the occasion. There were also a couple of noisy protesters babbling on about some injustice or other, but they were categorically ignored by the visitors and tourists as we set out to honor those who had fallen to war and disease.

I know I have spoken a lot this trip about monuments, but in today’s fast paced and quickly changing world, we often get so focused on the immediate that we tend to forget what is important. Monuments tend to redirect us to remember how we got where we are and the struggles that we, and those who have gone before, have had to overcome. As I contemplate the Liberty Bell and the Statue of Liberty, and the freedom they represent to the entire world, I am reminded of a song I used to love to sing in my youth.

Statue of Liberty
Words and Music by Neil Enloe

In New York harbor stands a lady,

with a torch raised to the sky.

And all who see her, know she stands for

liberty for you and I.

I'm so proud to be called an American

To be named with the brave and the free

I will honor our flag and our trust in God,

and the Statue of Liberty.

On lonely Golgotha, stood a cross,

with my Lord raised to the sky.

And all who kneel there live forever,

as all the saved can testify.

I'm so glad to be called a Christian,

to be named with the ransomed and whole.

As the statue liberates the citizen,

so the cross liberates the soul.

Oh, the cross is my Statue of Liberty,

it was there that my soul was set free;

Unashamed I'll proclaim that a rugged cross

is my Statue of Liberty.

On the base of the Statue of Liberty is inscribed: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

Kind of reminds me of Jesus, who said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. “I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:2-3.

Just as Lady Liberty beckons us to reach out to those who are less privileged, oppressed, and burdened citizens, Jesus beckons us to reach out to the wretched, the sinners, and the unlovely, and to share God’s compassion and sacrifice with them.

As the Statue of Liberty stands as a symbol of freedom from oppression, let the cross of Christ stand as our symbol of freedom from the bonds and oppression of sin.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:9-12

And Justice for All

Day 4 of the Wheeler family vacation. We finished sightseeing in Washington DC. We toured the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. We marveled at the size and beauty of the Hope Diamond and other rare and valuable gems. The museum also houses dinosaur bones, which were allegedly millions of years old, and an exhibit on African culture and one on mammals of the world. After leaving the museum, I wanted to visit our nation’s capitol building and the Supreme Court building, but it was a considerable walk and it was hot. So we split up. The girls went next door to the Museum of American History and Lane and I took off east to visit the Capitol.

The outside of the building was beautiful, with a reflection pool just west of the steps. We were not able to go inside without being on a guided tour. We could have gone to the congressman’s office to get tickets to view congress in session, but because of time constraints, we chose to walk around the Capitol to tour the Supreme Court…the Mecca for attorneys everywhere, which houses the highest authority on the law in the land, held in the highest esteem and reverence by all attorneys (not really, but I thought it sounded good). As a lawyer myself, I did feel a certain sense of awe, setting foot inside THE seat of justice in America.

I learned long ago, that justice is not always fair, and does not always favor the “right” or “moral” party. Yet we seek justice every day. If we feel unfairly treated, or put upon, or wronged, or even sometimes if we don’t get our way, we want retribution, vengeance – we want justice! After setting foot in the Halls of Justice, I am much more grateful for God’s grace. I am grateful that God has chosen to add us to his family instead of administering the justice we deserve. Paul reminds us that we have all sinned and fallen short of the measure of justice. Romans 3:23. We are not to sit in judgment of our neighbor; there is only one Lawgiver and Judge (James 4:12) and vengeance belongs to him alone (Hebrews 10:30).

Thank God He sent His Son to SAVE us all, not to judge us. John 12:47.